On The Hook
by dandy wonderous
Summary: After Luffy loses Usopp's slingshot, he decides "an eye for an eye"... Or a straw hat for a slingshot. Will he really have the heart to take Luffy's most cherished possession? Oneshot, Luffy and Usopp nakamaship.


I'm listening to Blue October while writing this. A happy story and emo music… huh…

Anyway, written on a whim after watching _Hannah Montana_ (there was nothing else on, ok!). Oh, the things I'll sink to to avoid watching _The Secret Saturdays_… See, it was the one where Jackson destroys Miley's bear, so she destroys his autographed baseball, and then she finds out he got her bear fixed. He asks if he's off the hook and she says he is and then that she's on it, and for some reason that made me think of this story. It's a pun, yes.

Anyway, it's just some random and cutesy Usopp and Luffy fluff. Short and silly. Enjoy!

By the way, those reading "A Chef's Hands," I'm sorry the new chapter isn't up yet! I'm having serious writer's block in the "bad guy name" area… But I'm working on it!

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On The Hook

By Dandy Wonderous

"Can you hit that rock, Usopp?"

"Hahaha, of course! No target is safe from Captain Usopp-sama!"

Taking careful aim, Usopp launched a pachinko at the rock that rose from the sea's surface. A light ping announced that he was right on target. The sniper struck a heroic pose.

"And that bird!" Luffy prompted, pointing to the bird that rose up from the island's forest. "Hit that bird, Usopp!"

"No problem." He aimed his slingshot again and let the ammo fly.

"SQUAWK!" The bird was hit but not injured, just indignant. It garbled angrily at the ship that was steadily leaving the island behind.

Luffy and Chopper cheered at the feat while Usopp struck the pose again. "Yosh! That's why they call me, "Captain Usopp, Hawkeye!""

The diversion had been going on for awhile. Luffy had been restless when the stop at the island was only a routine supply trip, with nothing out of the ordinary (for once) happening. He had still been complaining when they set sail again, so Nami had told Usopp to amuse the captain. He had been letting Chopper and Luffy pick targets and then hitting them without fail, praising his many alleged accomplishments between shots.

But now Luffy was bored with just _watching_ Usopp shoot.

"Usopp! Let me try!" he demanded, trying to wrench the slingshot away from his friend. Usopp pushed him back with one hand while holding the slingshot out of reach with the other.

"No way, Luffy. This isn't a toy, it's only for real snipers!"

Momentarily both boys had seemed to forgotten that Luffy could stretch. Then the notion dawned on both of them and before Usopp could get away he had stretched his arm and acquired the slingshot.

"Come on, Usopp, just once!" Luffy begged, holding out his palm for some ammo.

Usopp debated for a moment, then sighed and pulled out a pachinko ball. "Okay, you win. But just one… and you have to follow my instructions exactly!" he added frantically as Luffy snatched up the ball and loaded it into the band of the slingshot.

"Yosh! I can do it, Usopp!"

Without waiting for help, Luffy stretched back the band, closing one eye and sticking out his tongue, biting on it slightly while he took aim. Then, without actually choosing anything in particular to shoot at, he let go.

Unfortunately, he let go with _both_ hands.

Two things went flying at once. First was the pachinko ball, which rocketed far up into the sky, startling a flock of seagulls. Second was the slingshot itself which, propelled by Luffy's immense strength, landed with a splash in the sea.

For a split second the three youngest crew members could only gape in shock at the weapon.

And then all three were yelling at once.

"AAH! Someone catch it, someone save it!"

"It's okay, Usopp, I got it!" yelled Chopper, horrified that his friend's prized possession could be lost forever. He started to dive off the ship.

Usopp gathered his senses enough to grab the reindeer before he could plummet into the ocean. "Wait, Chopper, you can't swim!"

"O-oh, yeah…"

"Yosh!" yelled Luffy, winding his arm. "I'll just grab it. Gomu Gomu no-"

Before he could get any further, a large fish swam by and, thinking the slingshot to be food, snapped it up.

"It got eaten…" said Chopper unnecessarily.

And then Usopp was on Luffy, throwing punches at his head. "Jerk! That was my _only_ slingshot!"

"Aah! Usopp, I'm so sorry!" Luffy apologized frantically, trying to dodge his nakama's frenzied hits.

"Oh yeah? "Sorry" isn't bringing my slingshot back!"

"Sorry, sorry!" Luffy babbled regardless.

After about five minutes of wrestling around on the deck Usopp stalked off in fury to the galley, leaving a lumpy Luffy in his wake.

"He's really mad," said Chopper once the sniper was out of earshot.

Luffy stared at the galley door, then looked out at sea, then looked back at the door. Then he got to his feet.

"Yosh! I know how to fix this!"

* * *

…_Stupid Luffy… Losing my slingshot… What kind of idiot __let's go with _both _hands?_

Usopp was sitting sulkily at the table, head in his arms. He was still fuming mad, and was trying to think up some fitting revenge.

_Maybe I could slip Tabasco into his food…_

He glanced up at Sanji, who was washing breakfast dishes.

_Then again, Sanji would kill me for messing with his meal… So what else…_

Said chef finished drying the last dish and picked up two fishing poles he had set by the counter. "Oi, Usopp, I'm gonna fish. Wanna help?"

"No, thanks, I…" Usopp trailed off as a thought occurred to him.

_Luffy lost _my _prized possession… So I'll just take _his _in compensation._

He smiled at Sanji. "Sorry I can't help you fish, but do you mind if I borrow one of those poles?"

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As if it wasn't bad enough that the jerk had lost his slingshot, now he was messing around in _his _workshop.

Usopp had positioned himself directly above the storage room hatch and was watching the captain work industriously on something or other, using his tools and materials without permission.

It was enough to make Usopp's blood boil. Luffy had no respect for the property of others.

Well, he was going to fix that. How would Luffy feel once his precious straw hat was lost in the same way?

As quietly as possible, Usopp lowered the hook of the fishing pole into the storage room and swung it in the captain's direction.

A miss; the line fell short.

Letting out some more slack, Usopp tried again.

Another failure, though the hook came dangerously close to snagging the rubberman's vest.

Reeling the line in slightly, Usopp swung a third time.

It was a charm; the hook caught the brim.

With a triumphant smile, Usopp reeled in the line, pulling the hat to him.

It was at this point that Luffy straightened with a satisfied "Yosh!"

Usopp was frozen in fear, sure he was caught. Forgetting his good sense, he lingered in the hatch, holding the evidence of his theft in clear sight.

Luffy turned around and spied him. "Oi, Usopp! I was just coming to find you!" Not noticing the hat or the breeze that ruffled his now uncovered hair, Luffy reached behind his back and retrieved something. He held the thing up triumphantly.

Usopp stared at the object in shock.

"I felt really bad," Luffy explained. "So I made you a new slingshot. Do you like it?"

It was very crude, like a child's toy; two sticks tied together in a Y with some string, a broken rubber band tied to either branch. Nevertheless, Usopp was touched.

Forgetting the hat he still held condemningly in his hands, he climbed down into the storage room and took the "weapon" from his excited captain.

"It's great, Luffy," he finally said, choking back a sob, tears in his eyes.

Luffy beamed. "I knew you'd like it, I… Uh, Usopp? Why do you have my hat?"

Usopp jumped. _Oh no! What do I do now!?! _Feeling horribly guilty, Usopp searched for an excuse. "I, uh… Well, see that!" He pointed at the band. "There's a hole in the band. I was going to sew it up for you."

"Oh!" said the ever-trusting Luffy obliviously. "That's okay, Usopp; it's so tiny that no one will notice."

_That's because it was made by a fish hook._ "Oh, okay then." He returned the hat.

"So you're not mad at me anymore?" the captain asked innocently, straw hat back in its rightful place.

Usopp stared down at the slingshot. "Of course not." He smiled. "Thank you, Luffy."

He smiled broadly and laughed. "You're welcome!" And then he ran up on deck to see what new trouble there was to get into.

Usopp stood alone with his new weapon and laughed to himself. _That guy…_

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Sanji, done with his fishing, gaped at the large fish he had just gutted. Or, more specifically, at the slingshot that had fallen out of its stomach, slimy but still intact.

_How'd that get there?_

**The End**

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A/N: Usopp got the last word in my last oneshot, so Sanji got to end this one. Okay, so my longer story (and all the chapter stories I have planned for once ACH is done) is about him, so it's probably not fair. Maybe Zoro will end the next one? Or Robin? Meh.

"_Captain Usopp, Hawkeye!""_

I love _M*A*S*H_, peoples. So I threw that in there. For those who are horribly uneducated in good television, Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce is the main character, played by Alan Alda, and his nickname is from _The Last of the Mohicans_, the only book his father ever read. Yeah, I'm a _M*A*S*H_ super-nerd!

_Without waiting for help, Luffy stretched back the band, closing one eye and sticking out his tongue, biting on it slightly while he took aim. _

Picture it! Come on, imagine! Now go, "Aww, how CUTE!" You know you want to! Or maybe you just want to laugh. Yeah, that's probably it.

…_horrified that his friend's prized possession could be lost forever._

Actually, he probably cares (or cared… sniff) about the _Going Merry_ far more than the slingshot, but it's not like Luffy could through _her _away like that… Especially since she's in the ocean to begin with.

I hope you enjoyed this. It was short and kind of silly, but cute. And it's fun to write little Luffy/Usopp nakamaship things.

Wondering how she went from listening to Blue October to Bob Seger through the course of this fic, this is Dandy Wonderous, signing off.


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